Grocery shopping problems

You have all seen it.  Some of you have done it.
At the grocery store, you’re trying to get your business done as effectively and swiftly as possible and then there is a couple like this strolling along, taking up the entire aisle with an air about them as if time and money and kids and world hunger are of no concern in the world.

Aint nobody got time for that!
For one thing, I guarantee that these two have no kids or if they do, they do not take care of them.  From the look of his arm around her teeny tiny waist (ya, that’s right I’m one of those hateful bitches that like to hate on the skinny bitches simply because I’m a jealous bitch) he’s probably the one with a kid somewhere that he sees on rare occasions and when she (the skinny bitch) has other plans and is out of town.

Can you say judgemental?  Yes, I know I am.  But the bottom line is, I don’t have the time for that shit.  My husband and I certainly don’t have time nor the freedom to do this in public places (not that we ever did)  If we should ever go into the grocery store together we have to strategize the trip so that one has the cart and is placing the essentials into it while the other chases around the toddler and tries to keep him from taking off with other people’s shopping carts or baskets or groceries.  Also, because patience wears thin doing this, time is of the essence before someone blows.  And so, we don’t have time to lollygag.  Trips to the grocery store in this fashion are treated much more with a business attitude and affection is so far removed from the scenario you’d think we were literally business partners.
Then when I’m not with the husband, just myself and the toddler, again, I don’t have time for that shit!  I don’t have time to be tailing along behind a couple that is hell bent on remaining attached in some sort of way and not caring if there should be anyone behind them with a cart and a ticking time bomb sitting in the top of the buggy kicking his feet and demanding to be let loose.

I want to yell at these people to MOVE and then spitefully spit out something like, you think you’re so in love now?  You think you’ll still be holding each other while you grocery shop in one year?  You think you’ll still be holding each other when you get married?  You think you’ll even want to be touching each other when you have kids?  My bet is that you don’t even get to that point.  You’ll break up in another month or two because it’s gotten boring and you don’t feel like touching so much anymore and you want someone else to hold that’s new and fresh and then you know what?  You’ll be back here in a month holding onto that new can’t-live-without-you person and YOU’LL STILL BE IN MY FUCKING WAY!

 

 

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Marriage is the new Black

Is it just me or has this summer been overloaded with weddings?  It could just be my generation that all of a sudden decided this was the year to hurry up and seal the deal but regardless, I have never been more surrounded by weddings lately.
Oh yes, that’s right I too got married this summer.  That may explain why I have had wedding  bells on the brain.  Perhaps it isn’t that I have been surrounded by weddings, but I have surrounded myself with weddings.  Yes, I did become quite the obsessed fiancé with every thing bridal and Bride Day Friday on TLC and now it has taken longer than I thought to get the bug out of my system – evident in that I now cannot shut up when even talking to strangers about their weddings, offering advice and tips without even being asked or taking a breath for that matter.

Regardless, love seems to be in the air and it is quite beautiful is it not to witness that magical emotional moment of “I Do’s” and the coming together of families?  I know my wedding was beautiful and magical and hella fun… but I might be a tad biased.

In the midst of all these weddings though, it makes you wonder how many of them will surly last and pass the test of time and truly be till death does part?  Isn’t the divorce rate these days something like 50%?  It’s basically a gamble to get married.  Now speaking for myself, in spite of my Welcome post that I admit, makes me sound quite down and out about my current situation, I assure you though, my marriage is going to last.  My husband and I are both too needy and much too stubborn to ever part ways and well, we love each other too so that helps.  But what about all the other people?  All my friends and family and neighbours that got married this summer?  Did they get married for the right reasons?  Do they know enough about each other to make that commitment?

For example, I have these friends that got married and while I don’t know much about the girl, we did grow up in the same town and knew a lot of the same people and the rumours and stories that I heard about this girl were not of the most noble nature.  Frankly, she liked to party and get around.  The impression that I had of her was that she moves quite quickly from one fad to the other.  Now when she got together with the guy, we all thought it was just another fad but next thing you know they’re getting married.  Everything that was wrong with the wedding in my own opinion is for another day’s discussion but nonetheless, I think the speed with which they got married and without several of their family members genuine blessing left many people doubting the longevity of the marriage.  But then again we are not them and we do not know what their relationship is like.  To their credit they are still together and seem to still be in the honeymoon stage – Whoop for them (I’m only bitter about this because I have yet to go on my honeymoon)

This leads me to my final thought.  I wonder if perhaps one of the contributing factors as to why the divorce rate is so high is maybe because there are people out there rooting for marriages to fail.  I know that there are definitely women out there that may have even congratulated me, but secretly, deep down in the yearning of their dark wishes would actually take gratification in seeing my marriage fail.  I can’t blame them though.  My husband is quite the catch and many women have told him “I wish I could clone you” or something close to that.  I, myself am no angel.  Being perfectly honest with myself, I do sincerely hope all of my friends’ marriages work out and I think and say this because I’m a good person and I want the best for the people I love.  But then there’s a small part of me, a tiny deep dark part, the devil on my shoulder if you will, that is alone all day long as a stay at home mom craving for attention and lacking in social interactions.  The needy wife of me that is addicted to Facebook just so that I can anonymously witness the little snippets of daily drama, that part wants to observe from afar the 50% of marriages that will apparently statistically fail. Isn’t that what our society craves anyway?  The ongoing dramatics of relationships that make us feel better about our ‘stable’ relationships or at least give the illusion for the time being that you exist in a perfect relationship?  At least during these times of observing other failing relationships and reflection of one’s own strong and communicative marriage usually tends to lead to husbands getting laid right?  What?  Just mine?

Oh well, at least if I’m witnessing other marriages failing as time goes on, even if they are the people I love, doesn’t that mean that that my marriage has a higher chance statistically of succeeding?  And really, when it comes down to it, I said I DO to my husband and when that happened our relationship became, above and beyond, my priority relationship.  That means that regardless if I have a falling out with my best friend or disagreements with my family, the most important relationship that will have the biggest effect on my happiness and well being for my future is with my husband.  So screw everyone else and everyone else’s marriage.  Go ahead and get divorced.  It just means statistically my marriage’s odds increase.  I’ll just be here observing from afar,  (okay, yes hardcore Facebook creeping,) and probably trying to dissect what happened so that I can take notes on What Not To Do.  So basically, on a very personal, selfish and evil level, all these weddings happening are a good thing, yes?  Down the road, sooner or later, when 50% of them inevitably fall apart at least it can all help fill the void in my life that will be lacking in the divorce drama department.

It’s okay too if you married peers of mine root for my marriage to fail as well.  I won’t take it personally ;)

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Welcome Welcome!

Hello beautiful world of blogging!  I hope you are indeed beautiful…or at least pretty.

A quick little about myself and what I intend for this blog.  I am a newly wed, 26year old housewife.  I stay at home with our now 14 month old son and I wish I could say life is great, married life is awesome, having kids is so gratifying and not having to work is simply fabulous.  Well, it’s not.  I feel like I’m constantly in need of all the things I don’t have.  The type that is never satisfied, yes I suppose that is me.  But are my needs so far fetched and extreme?  Am I really THAT needy to feel like I’ve some how gotten the short end of the proverbial stick?  Could I, the crazy one that has over analyzed everything in her life, have actually made a mistake in getting married (two months ago!).  Or is this all just a normal stepping stone for the new-age woman that found herself transition from the single, independent and fun loving girl to the moody, needy, lonely resentful housewife?

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